HAZELOVESYOU

0727

2010-08-23T07:28:00.001+08:00

okay so i have been trying t figure out hw t close e gap btw e date and e post title together, but i still cant. i am so annoyed w e spaces. ARGGGG

get a life.

2010-06-18T12:44:00.004+08:00

im going crazy because i cant believe i, no, we have to deal with your adolescence nonsense about breakups and your almost fucked up relationship. stop telling me "do you know how i feel? you dunno how i feel. do you know i am very depressed? you dunno what happened." i dun even know how many times you have to god damn it repeat those sentences, and they are fucking hurting my ears now. yes, it's okay to be depressed and take advantage of the situation for awhile, but not forever. Using other people's money to clean up your own mess is really bullshit. ive been through the worst, and yours is totally nothing. i dun get why youre still fussing over it.

the worst kind of people t have is to find trouble and cause unneccessary inconvenience to people yet still having the face to argue back when the situation is not how they want it to be. like how the fuck could you bring yourself to do it?

FUCKED UP USELESS. SPOILT BRAT

when you dont expect

2010-06-08T06:04:00.002+08:00

"only for tonight, only for tonight."
though it always happened on the most random night, though it only happens once in a blue moon. all these uncalled for nights were the best.

0547

2010-06-08T05:47:00.003+08:00

sitting on the pathetic tiny tool. a can of coke. the tv switched to some taiwan styling show. just uploaded some pictures. painted my nails, FINALLY IN GREY. finished eating korean cold noodles and surprised why owyong is up so early tweeting and asking about the fight. thinking of where to go later, and what i have to do.

i recieved alot of red packets yesterday even though i barely knew what i did and why im getting them. they said it was for the open door ceremony during the wedding. but anyhow, it's still money!

i cant stop thinking about having chillicrabs and mantou, even though i just had it about 1 week ago. i need to go to the temple later. do you think the gods will listen to your prayers and make them come true? i really hope so.

while my life have always been like a drama, my friends' life like an action movie.

it's going 6am, im not asleep. im wide awake and it annoys me. so should i walk over to mac's for breakies? it sucks to be the one that stays in the west. seems so lonely. urg. >:(

MAY-JUNE

2010-06-08T03:28:00.012+08:00

preview of the month of may. way too many to upload, so i picked few out of the lot.

BKK! i love BKK!
@bkk's airport!

alex's newly wedded wife! BIBI.
thai traditional wedding ceremony.

7 bottles down in less than an hour, and obviously those who drank crazily were drunk and down.
the both of them in the pict didnt even realised we left them in the hotel room without aircon and lights.

ww after the wedding dinner, still eating at the hotel's foodstall. boy, he finished all by himself pls.
dom's finger after tripping and smashing the bottle onto himself.
cousin's wedding.
late night macs with mocha, wensheng and gang.
birthday treat @kuishinbo from erasmus!

birthday @soho.

birthday dinner @jumbo dempsey.
we didnt plan to meet, we just happened to see each other at nana. like what owyong said: "nana my second home." that's for everyone of them.

loverboy treated me to 2 trays of apple shooters, was supposed to be 3, but luckily for me he knew i couldnt drink anymore apple shooters. the thought of apple shooters still make me wanna puke. + all the other misc drinks. the very next day i totally can puke in anyone's faces.

to sum it up, for the month of may it was filled with so much dramas(as usual), ups and downs, happiness, angst and disappointments, but well-lived.

reality

2010-06-08T03:19:00.000+08:00

all these nightmares im having seemed so real.

you cant be that real girl.

2010-06-08T02:48:00.003+08:00

fuck you and your aging allies. i was doing it for someone who meant something to me, and not for you. i hope your boobs burst and you break your nose. if i have the choice, i wouldnt even be there. i actually feel glad i decided to flare up in the damn car yesterday, because you totally deserved it even though i was being a bitch with major attitude problem. at least i was better than you, better than trying to shove responsibilites trying to speak like there was a 3rd person, trying to act like you werent the one who started all that pin pointing stuffs.

so much animosity,so much pretense. nice try for saying i have nice hair colour, nice complexion, nice lashes and nice heels, thanks but no thanks. save it.
youre just weird, and not human.

ps: so sorry your big butts have to squeeze in the super pathetic car, go get yourself a bmw if you are so unhappy about it, or just suck it up because there were only so few cars. shut up and go eat your bananas. i was just down on my luck that i have to know you, which i dont even wish so yes, i dont owe you a living.

a bunch of fools.

thrashbox or gembox?

2010-05-23T04:16:00.003+08:00

dont like talking to you yet i always talk to you. it's like hearing myself 10thousand years ago, again. it's like you are becoming like me, liking whatever i like only that you took longer to find that something i found years ago.

im sucha walking contradiction.

AYLA

2010-05-23T02:19:00.004+08:00

im perspiring in this trying-very-hard-to-be-cold-room, its raining horses and cows outside, temperature in the room dropped and its a little colder. im using my laptop while lying on the bed, even though i know its gonna make me feel warmer.

the boys are finally sleeping soundly after the 3 days of playing, and talking nonsense, singing, youtubing during bedtime. im glad, but just when i finally get to sleep, i cant seem to fall asleep. im tired.

im only here, wherever i am in now for a good reason, that's for my friends's wedding. CONGRATULATIONS.

i really cant seem to sleep, lying around listening to their snoring voices, tossing and turning, watching shows, listening to ayla. still feeling so warm in here. they dont have clarityne here, and im dying of all the rashes im getting! the pills i bought here claims to stop itch and rash, but fucking hell it's not helping. god save me man.

my thai friend is so funny, he has to record whatever he wants to say to me and send it via bbm. same goes for bibi, her friend recorded and said this: i think i talk easier. who could have thought of that? okay i know i know i know i wouldnt thought of that.

curfew 3rd day, thank god thank god thank god, we dont have it on sunday! btw i haven told you that this place is just like raccoon city, only without zombies, its quite fascinating to see a deadtown literally, with no one, that kinda place that is good for playing l4d LIVE. and also fascinating to see so many military police and army around, carrying guns that i have never seen before ever. its civil war,but it's cool and peaceful. we just dont get it here, we cant see shit only hear and read from the news. it's as good as nothing happened.

ive gotta wake at 7am later, and now it's 3am thai time. how great, maybe i should turn in now. goodbye.

bestfriend

2010-05-10T06:39:00.005+08:00

you have any idea about the kind of magical friendship you have with your bff? fucking love hate. she asked us out after a long long long long time. and of cos, needless to say it's because she was busy with (WORK, BOYFRIEND, WORK AND BOYFRIEND) mind you, she works with her bf, and almost 90% of the time she stays with him and have breakfast lunch and dinner together. and also because her bf was in kl for a work trip! i wonder how is that awesome to her? most of the time i feel like killing her with the parang, but that isnt a choice because she's still my bff. still love her till bits, and of cos not forgetting the funniest girl on earth lurvies chia. the both of them really know how to test my patience level.

dread.

2010-05-10T06:31:00.002+08:00

i was thinking, when will i ever, ever, ever get myself to bed before i realised it's time for work. all the back to back jobs are driving me crazy, but i'm so glad it's gonna be over soon(at least for the month of may). my schedules are packed mad, and because i love myself too much i actually told myself not to work for the month of may, and it's supposed to stop before may actually starts yet i'm still at it. my boss really didnt think much about how serious i was saying that i need to stop working for the month of may. heh. i really need to talk about it tmr, because im serious(im like 10 days behind schedule, im supposed to start planning for everything that's coming). the upcoming friend's wedding overseas that almost made me lose my patience and yes, my 21st! i really wish i can drop everything on hands, book a ticket and fly to japan to look for the boys. and great, it's 630am i just got home from the airport and i have to report work at 10am. freaking awesome.

learning new things

2010-04-13T00:23:00.001+08:00

because we shldnt even trust anyone. and to give only what we can handle.

mona lisa?

2010-03-30T12:08:00.005+08:00

i know, i have always know that there will always be people being melissa to me. and because of one incident, i refused to think that girls are the innocent ones. girls are whorifying, and it scares me sometimes knowing that. bestfriend, goodfriends, closefriends, friends, strangers whatever it is, only human. how can i forget that every man is for themselves? i'm sorry i never forgot what happened. i cant believe i actually fell for it, i cant believe i actually believed it. i guess im the only one that will ever buy it. and that's for putting in too much trust.

i'm saying that there isnt one person that we can believe in wholeheartedly anymore. now even what we see isnt what we get. what we believe in might just be make-believe, who knows. they just dont turn out to be what we thought it should be. it's those tiny little details that passed you by, that plays the most crucial part of getting to know someone, and yet you just get so caught up with something else. though it's a whole different situation altogether, it really reminds me of what happened aeons ago. bad trauma. haha.

but it's still kinda annoying to know that people really think im that dumb to try hiding yet speaking the truth. the next minute the truth will be out, dont speak like youre the hero, yet secretly letting other people take the blame. you cant stop people from saying what they wanna say, and when they say it youre just doomed. that's for lying and not doing it the way it should be. i did open up to listen, to maybe give a benefit of the doubt. but now i wont even, because i know at the end of the day it will still be a pack of lies. right from the start it was a lie, till the end it will still be. give me a chance not to think that way? i doubt so.

***and guess what, i was right. it's so easy to put pieces of things together to form a puzzle, and there you go, you get the answer. just when i thought i could just leave it alone, and pretend nothing happened.

when will people ever be truthful to themselves, to the people around them and stop making things up? next time when you wanna let someone in, wanna get to know people better, at least do some background check. it will be safer that way.

theres always a reason why friends are friends and why friends arent friends anymore, because birds of the same feathers always flock together, and when youre different, no matter how hard you try, you will never be the same. dont even try.

i dont wish to believe whatever that is, but seriously? i had enough of people trying to dupe me, i dont wanna dupe myself further.

welcome to the real world

2010-03-30T05:05:00.004+08:00

it's okay for yourself to lose faith, but it's really sad when you see your friends losing faith too, falling into that same pithole as you do and yet there's nothing you can do to stop. you know life is hard, but the question will always remain the same. is life really that hard? you just refused to think that there are many people out there that feels the way you feel, especially the people around you. the things that life put you through, the series of heartbreaks and disappointments; the only-normal games of nature and a part of life, a vicious cycle that we have to face, yet no one ever get used to. and so who will be the one to tell you, life isnt that hard afterall? who and what can we believe in? issit true that the good and the nice always finish last?

the world, upside down

2010-03-28T16:12:00.003+08:00

been really busy, worked 36hours straight with tiny breaks in between. i cant wait to see the syog's mtv!

hanging out with the boys means seeing things from their perspective. hanging out with the boys means being in a complicated r/s gives you the right to somewhat or another kiss somebody, say you like them, flirt with them, and be in a mindfucking situation and maybe fuck. i could have made it simpler, but forget it. because they will just tell you "it's not". and im not saying they cant. boys just wanna have fun. they always have their reasons for the things theyre doing and at the end of the day, they will always tell you "i still want *insertnamehere* back". does it make any sense? i really dunno, i dont wanna understand it too.

hanging out with crazy boys means seeing things crazily. everything around is dramatic, crazy, upside down, weird and eccentric. you have no idea what's next. they might just stand around one of those corners waiting for you to appear so that they can scare the shit outta you, you wouldnt know. or maybe while walking normally, they might just turned around and eat you up, especially the king of pyscborg rock & venyril. you can tell from their nicks, that they are not those that you can trifle with. there are those that do silly things like doggie crawl to their refrigerators at home, shove a paper cone up in their nostrils and have their own lingos that gradually spread till the whole group is kind of infected with the way they speak. yes, there you go they are my crazy friends. you will never be safe. that also explains why am i being paranoid even on cabs. especially sitting in between the hougang brothers, i can totally kill myself first. it's crazy. and right now, im counting the number of them that arent crazy. hah.

its 440pm, im thinking ice cream waffles and ramen while waiting for my eastside goodyfriend to be up. im counting down how long more will he take to wake. am getting really hungry now!

bestfriendforever

2010-03-28T16:00:00.004+08:00

it's 359pm. this keyboard of dom's so small i have to type so slowly so i wont type wrongly. and i'm still thinking the reason why i still cant swallow the fact i have sucha crazy bff that rages wars and writes like oxford that thinks hes king and im just a soldier because im a girl, short and live in the west. but all that have happened, just 1 word to describe: Picasso. the way he put words in your mouth is like saying tom dick and harry becomes tom's dick is hairy. but aside from that, the messages he sent over were 2 different kinds, 1 is for the war, and 1 is for the bff.

7:01pm : go fuck yourself, youre not invited.
7:03pm: fuck you. avoid drama at all cost. dont appear today. i planned this thing. you waged a war by sending that text, soldier.
7:05pm: home, going to ecp soon. they're there now. burger king, waraku, there are some futsal courts, aka mini soccer.
7:07pm: come. and you owe me dinner.
7:09pm: okay thick skin asshole. i can even destroy my own family what makes you think i wouldnt suckerpunch your disgusting face.
7:09pm: thats what bff is all about.

ME: irritating i shall not argue with you further you crazy fucker. ......

and the raging war started because hes so bother by the fact that im short and i live in the west.

friends and superheroes from the universe.

2010-03-21T17:41:00.003+08:00

never this close to knowing what friends really are, sometimes these people are just right there, right there but you never knew, just so u paid too much attention to those that you think are more awesome(all that you can think of while getting distracted along the way),&though u never ever think they are there, they will always be. likewise, i will, to those that have always been. sometimes you just need to learn to move on to start to realise the real people around, beyond the stage of passing a judgement.

you know when someone tells you : "this person always say that youre a bitch." and because of an unneccessary comment like that, you get affected and think the same way, and the feeling of getting accused, suck very much. you guys were friends, until this comment came by, you cant help but think wtf why is that so and start to stray away from your friend.

why risk losing a goodfriend just because you got distracted along the way, you heard things and got so affected? why bother? the truth is, you just gotta find out yourself.

yesterday night, i realised boys will always be boys, but amongst those boys there will always be one or two that you can really rely on 24/7. troubles and their games of cos the latter. likewise for girls, troubles or their bf(s) of cos the latter. sometimes we just cant set our expectation so high, we still do even though we knew we would you know, fall/end up getting disappointed. you just cant expect too much, sometimes just be grateful they are willing to pick up your call. haha.

and always rememember how to be appreciative to those thats really there for you. try it, call those that arent with you when youre drunk somewhere in the world, see who really try to make an effort.

i spammed the boys yest cos dom was really drunk. and these was what each individual replied:
hendrick didnt pick up, he said he was too into the game, didnt realise the phone was ringing. but offering to send him home.
clement bothered but i forgot what he said.
bronson suggested he go over to egames while they cont playing their games
jerome kept trying to call a cab for everybody.
weida said if i cant handle him, he will pick dom up.
ended up it was sheen that poor trying not to look upset boy accompanied him to eat because he was hungry.

if dom was some asshole, i think pris and i would have just thrown him there and leave already. ahahhahaha. we know we cant. this is what he gets when he has always been nice to us, and to everyone else.

liars, monsters and hypocrites.

2010-03-16T01:56:00.004+08:00

i dun get why people has to hide things from me and yet not do a good job. it's like as if im really so dumb i cant tell or i wont know at all. omg, seriously. haven you ever heard of "leaving no clues behind"? they always think im dumb, always. now that ive known the intention of hiding, i have to pretend i dun. OMG, this world is really making me crazy. how many melissas and youknowho must i meet in my entire life?

my glory.

2010-03-13T02:12:00.004+08:00

im finally done with work, and despite all the lack of sleep, waking up early after a latenight work the previousday, walking like there's no tomorrows lugging with 1000000 other paperbags filled w clothes, i love it, and i love the crews that i was working with. okay, actually 1 more postproduction and im done. cannot feel more relax than ever, gonna get a free massage from boss, and maybe accept the mani&pedi treat from cousin and the free facials i always get.

plusplusplus, my boss actually complimented me,and told me that director chose the shirt i picked, and plus the pedro shoes i chose. im fucking proud of myself. really, haven felt so good in years. you know how i never really get things done in a awesome way. heh.

backtoback jobs in a week's time. but not like clashing jobs. so excited! working for youth olympics, heard that 5 international celebritites coming, and then for bcbg fashion show and i dunno what other job that i have to work for.

i chose to stay back tonight, chill a little w cinda after crashing her place for close to a week. im officially worn out, and i think i need the bed early tonight. antistress mask, pimple cream, hydrating serum here i come. ciaos.

ps: really hope i get to enjoy the winter weather in hkg.

memories

2010-03-03T07:38:00.004+08:00

i had a friend that once said this to me:
"dont worry, he will pluck the stars for you. moon also can. whatever you want. "

hahahah, i almost died laughing. i still remember, i was lying on my bed trying to sleep. i was 16.

dig those memories.

if only,,,,,,,

2010-03-03T07:05:00.002+08:00

calvin asked : if you can have one super power what would that be?

i used to think if i can teleport it will be so cool, but then i will be missing out on all the fantastic sceneries.

and i used to think i wanna have the ability to read people's mind, cos i hate to play all the mind games(i suck at it) with people and life would be so much easier, but i also realised that it doesnt really make any difference cos, if i have that super power, i will be reading 100000000000's peoples mind, it's even more tiring. sometimes, its better not to know.

i also used to think that i wanna have the power to travel through time or maybe stop time (actually i still do, but)

i chose to fly. HAHAHAH, dont ask me why. so cool to fly.

now that i think of it, maybe i should just choose to have the power to bring dead people back alive, then again its up to fate to decide when people actually dies.
or even better, have the power to level up my financial status, that will be more awesome. right right right?!

it's just a make believe question that will never ever come true, i dun even know why am i thinking so much about it. HAHAHAHAHHAHA.
anyway, alicia chose to have the "heck care attitude" super power. and for calvin, i forgot.

alex went upupupupupupupupuppupupupup x 100000000 the mountains few hours away from bangkok to pray to a wishing rock. a legendary wishing rock, that whatever you wish for will come true, and the temple only opens twice a year. so apparently thousands of people squeeze climb overcome obstacles walk their way up to this temple. and you can only make one wish, 1 WISH ONLY. if you ever go up to that wishing rock, what will you wish for?

ps: alex's wish came true.

wei she me

2010-03-03T05:15:00.004+08:00

you know that kind of feeling when you stumbled across a picture of someone that you have already hide it at the back of your brains? that kind that can make your heart skipped a beat? i just had one. but its sad.

fix you

2010-03-02T02:33:00.004+08:00

theres a point in life where you get tired of chasing everyone and trying to fix everything, but it's not giving up. it's realizing that you dun need certain people and their crap. (one of the best ive heard so far)

ive learnt this when i was 19 going 20, cried so much just to realise i don need certain people and their crap, trying so hard to belong to somewhere i used to belong, makes me feel like a fool. it was a good realisation, cos it was a relief, i am glad i actually made that choice.

:)

heart warm warm

2010-03-01T04:21:00.006+08:00

BB:
the legendary hor dan hor fun at selera.
ww and his nonsense braids on my already braided hair.

sheen and his under 18 nonsense.

some impressive shit that only me dom didnt know, clement and the rest claimed that they have already done that when what in primary school????!! bronson mad tweeting, and dom mad playing drums during the wee hours of the night.
kindergarden drawings by yours truly

hendrick's work of art.

sentosa runway man.

boys, toys = playground in giant.

our 5bucks louhei on ren ri.

oh and i forgot to upload the frozen salmon on our louhei, but nevermind.

this was what we did, keeping ourselves occupied for the past 2 weeks, in no particular order.

giant at tampines boys playing their boys toy
ikea lou hei
go zouk order moet cannon, order dozen jaggerbombs, more drinks, more drinks,
go azzura, go movie,
meet go town, eat, chill, play card games, do some fun magictricks,
selegie tau huay, play lan,
sheen/qian's place play somemore lan, watch dvds, eat the dope horfun at selera, eat prawn mee in the morning, everyday selera,
watch movie, go town, chill, eat macs, order macs,
go sheen's, play somemore lan, selegie tauhuay, mr bean chill,
wait and wait and wait, do stupid things,
train bruce lee's 1 inch punch, laugh and laugh,
everyone say : eh clement not cool liao, he weird ah, keep disturb ppl, he not cool anymore, he scare me sial, eh clement not cool liao (over and over again),
dominic mad with his new twitter account making all of us so crazy as well,
qian laughing at stupid things that made clement stop wanting to open mouth,
having hendrick do things he never did, and was really funny,
sheen and his below 18's nonsense, like crawling and rolling all over the place, putting a giant rolled up ang bao in his nose, sheen behaving like himself as a 17 going 18
have like lingos, ba long long, heart warm warm etcetc...
we talked nonsense, fought twitter war,
hear the most awesome thing from alex, and weida.
play from evening till the next morning, nap, wake up same old routine.

played on a thursday, and stayed home on a friday. sat sun the story starts again. so heart warm warm. (camera pictures will be up on facebook)

hold onto the world even without having to exist.

2010-02-27T07:22:00.004+08:00

hokay, i cant get myself to sleep, hence i shall entertain myself and whoever that reads my blog. this is me your favourite friend, your best friend, your enemy, yours faithfully's random facts.

i cant stand hot weathers, i'd rather it cold like be it 10 degrees or whatsoever
my body naturally just gives out alot alot alot of heat, anyone sleeping beside me definitely feels like hell unless im freezing.
always love starbucks.
love watching sci-fi, fantasy and war shows.
hate it when friends already knew i set my eyes on something and yet they go get it too. dun ask me why am i being sucha bitch for having this habit. only on certain occasions im fine.
i really feel like eating pancakes now.
im always finding trouble for nothing, intentionally unintentionally, cos trouble is my bestfriend.
i have to go stockholm for their fashion watch and japan for their clothes and favourite food! I HAVE TO GO.
ive been to thailand 10 times in my life and still counting.
i never forget how the ice cream soda ice cream in volendam taste like.
hate it when people refuse to listen, just so they think they are elites.
hate fashion wannabeeeeeessssss.
hate myself sometimes
love myself sometimes
love chiffons and satins black grey pink purple and CYAN!
fucking love hellokitty.
love the colours of the galaxy, make believe or real. like purplish blue glitters all over the dark black.
90% of my guy friends treat me like a guy.
love all things strawberries!
thinking of my 21st bday plans right now!
would love to see givenchy x stella mccartney/chloe if ever.
cant get enough of 4-5" heels!!!!

okay, i gotta meet dom for natas fair later, now its 841am and im not asleep yet, fml. ciaos.

the night might not be ending just yet.

2010-02-22T01:45:00.012+08:00

supposingly reunion night w the tcf/elvina's 22nd.
happiest photo of the night, the 3 boys looked so happy!

a blast with the past?i wasnt supposed to be in the photo, while i was walking away, mel sneakily snapped it.

jaggerbombs

junhong

dom and cannon moet.
i thought the glasses were sliver, but it turned out to be gold.

jewels&diamonds

bffs.

its always comforting talking to those 2 boys, always. and sometimes, they remind me of dennis wang.

night of mayhem w mel&jj! surprise surprise! and it was jj who wanted to club!

nicole and her korean beau that wants to marry her.

yesterday night was a failure, apart from that, we had our meatballs at ikea and of cos our louhei on ren ri!! weida was funny, he went to the wrong ikea, which i dunno why and so he missed it. all of us headed down to meet alvan&bronson after much discussing on whether we should settle for movie(plan b) or for a chill-swim night up in the island of sentosa's azzura(plan a). we changed our mind on azzura and wanted movie but we went azzura and still ended up watching nine, which also means azzura closed at 12, and we have to go for movie. it was funny how from plan a became plan b then plan a then plan b. and needless to say, nine wasnt what we expected, maybe we didnt see it coming, we didnt plan for a musical. it was ironic to have clement hendrick dominic to be watching musical movies. oh well, and they didnt give up going azzura today, while as for me, i decided to have personal steamboat and stayed home.

cute&explicit

2010-02-22T01:06:00.007+08:00

chuando&frey for janet jackson's discipline album

chuando+frey

dolce's corset, dolce's laser cuts, jean paul gaultier's bustier, ysl shoulder cape, and christian dior satin shorts with socks and heels. like intrigues you by showing sexuality and yet keeping it minimal not naked, like dolce's corset underneath laser cuts marni's or underneath that bottega's corset dress comes a little of dior's satin shorts, you get what i mean? i suddenly just cant find the right term for it. i hope im not wrong. urg. but anyhoooossssss,

im so glad i get the chance to work with evon, chuando&frey +gerri, all thanks to evon. their photoshoots are awesome, models are gorgeous. i dont think we get to see the finishing product cos its for china's modern weekly magazine. oh and so much for liking chanel, we totally missed opening up the chanel's box of all the 101 boxes.

half filled.

2010-02-18T16:33:00.009+08:00

they say that as time passes by, our age increases, we grow older, the lesser the ang bao money even if there are more people around us getting married. they say, chinese new year will just seem like another day. and although i have always been on the losing streak side,although im so bored of how cny is like now, although all i did was to say gong hei fatt choy, ju lei san tai kin hong, i still have my fair share of fun, i still get money when i greet the elders with mandarin oranges.

and the cutest thing that happened on the very first day of cny was this:

a life size model of XOXO. i forgot whose idea was this, but it was funny cos woosorhai just yelled at me for being lame sending some retarded bbm to him&dom, then suddenly someone lamer than me came up with this.

oh and i went siam again for the 4th time in 1/2 year's span. 10 of us went to riot up siam, FANTASTIC. never felt so chill living in siam, drinking pinacolada by the roadsidestall, people watch.

pinacolada

ben in our 100thb super mega oversized aunty bag.

lanpa relax massage.

cheeburgle w picgle

&i went to stick this w p'moo. they were doing all these while i take my time to finally go find them for a drink. btw, this is my first time "vandalising". quite exciting.

see ah, i shld have booked the tickets to go on feb 19. so i can go tiesto on 19, kemf on 20. 1 stone kill 2 birds. irritated.

at chinatown w p'bier&p'oam for seafood and really expensive birdnest.

one of the nicest tasting chicken wings ever, in som tam at siam square soi 5.

oh and this tastiest wanton mee soup thats only available from 12am-6am in windsor hotel.

fujifujifuji~had our fill of jap food.

and we went to the museum for i dunno what, but this was one of those things that i saw.

ying's kitchen for the dopest volcano egg.

while we were talking and laughing suddenly everyone stopped moving. like, suddenly because of the nation anthem. wha, it was so sudden we got a shock, or only me. AHHA

lameasses.

and while in siam, this aunty taught us how to say youre beautiful in thai, khun suay. its so beautiful even when spoken.

i guess i'm still so in a holiday mood, i know im like in a holiday everyday. but this time is different, i really feel like im in a holiday mood that im so reluctant to work. im thinking skiing already. im thinking winter, i cant wait for winter to start so i can travel to cold places like taiwan hongkong japan. best is i can go to new zealand in july/august for their snow. now i really want to psycho my mom to hongkong! and im going penang for a short trip with huitingloveof10 during march, so excited to see edwinli!!!!!

btw! jj is giving me venue for my 21st birthday present!!!!! i really cant wait!!!! OMG, so exciteddddddd.

2010-02-10T03:43:00.003+08:00

why do i feel the way i shouldnt feel?

humans are ugly.
even the nicest person can be the person youll never ever think of.
they say its a blessing to have 1 bestfriend as compared to 10 other strangers/aquaintance.
now i'd rather have 1000 aquaintance, so i wont be bothered with all the other flaws i see that makes me feel unhappy.

because humans will always be the way they have always been. always, no matter how much they try to change, or change since change is inevitable, some part of them still stays. those are the things that will always stay in them. like we all know, a leopard will never change its spots. and it only depends on how you see them.

humans perception? so fucking warped.

the 5th disappointing year.

2010-02-10T03:08:00.004+08:00

i cant even believe the things i used to do, to be wherever i am now. and it sucks to be me. always constantly reminding myself that that was the biggest mistake ever, and should be the only one in my entire life, but it still cant change the fact that ive done it. i remember it clearly, so vividly and still feel so alive in my mind. if not for all these silly mistakes ive had made, i wouldnt be feeling the way i am feeling right now. now it wont be the same. i am so tainted.

only a fool like me will be taken in by you. i almost bought the fact that you were concern, i was this close to believing in things that i shouldnt believe even as a friend. you told me that i can choose whether i should believe in whatever you say, i always believed in you, always did, but i always disappoint myself, because you werent even worth me believing in.

the very first time, 4 years ago, when we were sitting on the bed talking about it, it already wasnt worth.

every little thing you do is to benefit yourself. i shouldve been determine to make that choice. i shouldve, and now i only have myself to blame for not having the guts to do it, for being so soft, for letting myself down, and for doing the things i hated myself doing for doing.

i shouldve been heartless, like how it was like from you to me. and i cant believe even up till now, i still have some faith that maybe in time to come you will be better, as a friend or as a lover to another.

im so glad i stopped loving you the way i used to.

why?

2010-01-31T04:21:00.003+08:00

it sucks to be me. i have no guts to die. i have no guts to live. where is peace? like i told you before, happiness is so short lived. dont be happy too early. nothing last forever. it really sucks to be me. i really wish i dont exist. i dont see the purpose why im here for. im not a very happy person, im not that happy person people think i am. truth is im a really sad person. whats the point for me to be here at all? what's the point? i was so happy my friend finally talk to me, but my life is full of shit. i dun know who i need.

i cant even believe that i managed to try to be fine the whole time im in zouk, im not. i never was. i always wear my heart on my sleeves.

we are only humans, and we cant stop ourselves from letting our imaginations run wild, sometimes i wish people dont do that, so they wont assume.

i always tell people that humans dont change, but change is inevitable.
im changing so fast, even the closest kin thinks im losing myself.

nothing makes sense to me now. the only comfort is to make my eyes swell, my pillow and my blanky. and stop going out. i just wish i can stay in my room forever.

bangkok.

2010-01-24T21:07:00.002+08:00

BKK TRIP. (CAPTIONS LATER!)
alex and his gf. bibi.

9 person in a cab!!!??? haha

the repeated ice cream man.

fucking favourite fishball noodles, doesnt get anymore awesome than this man.

king of ALL WHOLESALE. at chinatown.

fep's chicken rice is still the best.

paul and his erm x number gf.

@fuji.

the ultimate.

messiest room.

sapanput local night market.

which only caters to the locals.

and seriously, we were the only foreigners. okay, maybe 2 other angmos.

at khaosan.

best tomyumkung in thailand till date.

bart's boob's and book of girls.

he was snoring so loudly, paul decided to tie his robe to the bed sheets so if he snores we can pull and he will stop. it really works.

superman wannabe?

sukhumvit soi 22. scratchdog.

the best wanton noodles ever! i had like 2 bowls.

bibi.

another night market which sells alot of stuffs, from 2nd shoes to knives to random things like these below.

club culture after dark with only us.

3d3n party, barcardi's out of the universe @clubculture.

sister bliss. she was awesome awesome back in sg though.

the countless amount of eggs dropped from above, and we've gotten ourselves 13 of them, which we can redeem 13 free drinks.

7mins before 2010

@centralworld

Ffash(fashiontv) launch party @intercontinental hotel.

we kinda missed the entire show.

j avenue at thonglor. like a small area filled with all japanese food.

and of course i had my fill of dopedope japanese cuisine!

it was a waste that i didnt took any pictures with bier. she brought me there.

a part of bkk.

the taxiboat.

the slow walk from my hotel near platinum to siam square.

jib's place.

literally filled w leather, can even smell them from afar.

yeah, and the antique door to his place.
newyear's gift.
crispy banana prata.
&the fantastic, home-made watermelon shake shot.

and this is more or less what ive been doing in bkk for 8days.

couldve taken more pictures, but this is like the 3rd time in half a year ive been going over bkk.

&the 4th should be coming in no time! cheers!

i miss you, g.

2010-01-18T04:38:00.003+08:00

there was this one day, that i felt alot about g's death. alot, like it suddenly hit me hard that fuck i cant talk to him even if i want to anymore. for all the random and stupidess reasons to even text him and get him to entertain me for abit while working, to sit on the white sofa in volta gossiping like there's no tomorrows. i wanted to talk to him, i know hes gonna make me feel better, i know though hes so nonsensical, most of the time he still makes sense, i needed it, i needed him to enlighten me, i needed him to tell me everything's gonna be okay.(just like how he used to even though my problems are like bullshit.) just like what he did that night when i told him to not leave me alone, i never forgot. i was telling besty all about it, and she said: talk to him then, but hes just not gonna reply you. and i just felt worst, like he might be able to hear me, just that the saddest part is, i cant hear him anymore.

imu.

2010-01-15T01:35:00.003+08:00

sohwanny, can you stop reading this blog already even though its once in a while. this is a very emotional blog, go to tumblr. thanks you. hahahahahaha. because its once in a while, youll think why everytime hazel emo. okay thankssssss. hahahahahhha

oh well,

2010-01-13T23:11:00.003+08:00

it stays on, goes away for a while, it comes back to you, it piles up and the cycle never stops. oh, i meant the problems in life, or only mine. i know at the otherside of the world, every sec, every min, every hour, every day there are worst scenarios, i always know.

every decision you made its a choice, and there shldnt be room for regrets. and every decision made is what make up the whole you. live life for yourself, cos your life is about you and not others.

every millisec i think of something, every millisec i wish the world is better of without me, but for that everymillisec i think, even as much as i think this world isnt worth living for, this world isnt worth dying for either. and for this very second i indulge in selfpity, i couldve already come up with better ideas for enjoying the fact that im here in this sad world.

im an emokid, im sad, i have so many problems thats like unstoppable ever since im a kid, im paranoid, i think so much into things and still thinking its all very simple, i can complain and make things sound bitchy and its okay, but truth is, its never okay and i never get better. i have so much emotions every second of my life, thinking whos gonna be next in line to wanna kill me and wish i would be gone forever. sometimes i even think that i was made to live in this world to complete a mission of being so sucky in ppl’s life, and once my job is done i can leave the world forever, but it seems like oh its never gonna end. it’s either im too stupid to see that i have a problem, or that my life’s just being a bitch.

maybe im just too worn out. im just like alicia, constantly trying to run away from the world. or maybe we’re just too in love with all our friends. im so emo, yet i expect my friends to understand me. which i dont think i shld.

ps: whatever you think, think the opposite.

you gotta show me love.

2010-01-12T03:49:00.001+08:00

suddenly for that second, my heart just broke. first time for so long, my heart just broke for a reason i never thought i would actually think it's gonna break. okay, maybe for a minute.

2009-12-26T03:47:00.001+08:00

hello lovers,

is my space in your heart still there for me, while i was away taking my break?
please tell me it isnt taken, im so afraid it might be, afraid of knowing what i dont wish to know.
i wish i could just tell you guys how much each and everyone of you mean to me.
so much, so much.
how much youll never know, oh and i miss you so.

love,
me.

ps: it's like something is not right, it's like a part of my universe belongs to you guys, and it needs all of you to fill it up.

MERRY CHRISTMAS BABIES

2009-12-25T17:17:00.003+08:00

so this is christmas, what have you done?
MERRY CHRISTMAS PEOPLE! xoxo

falling with the superheroes.

2009-12-22T02:46:00.004+08:00

dont want to be hero, i rather have them back. why am i always half-hearted huh.
i still dont think im evil, or 2 face, or whatever eh. hahahahhaha. i just trying to be friend to another friend. i wish i really am evil, seems like the evil people always win.
wassup with tumblr.com. :( my only entertainment other than tom365 :(
but the muscle relaxant pills really works, it's also a fever reliever. im made even more sleepy now. goodbye. i still love everyone.

pile of shit.

2009-12-21T00:06:00.002+08:00

i seriously cannot take it, how childish can this be. just because im hanging out with jasmin elvina wanny alicia melodie, and also hanging out with weida, hendrick, alex, clement. i deserved a 2 face? this is really disappointing. how bout just leave me alone instead?

how insecure can a guy gets? the mouth of a guy is so much more evil than that of a girl's.
they say women are evil, and came up with an equation for it. must be done by a guy, and it's ironic. i say they should come up with one for GUYS INSTEAD.

GUYS and their 101 ego defensive talks.
LOL

incomplete

2009-12-19T05:25:00.003+08:00

the only reason is that whatever i heard of, whatever i know, whatever im going to hear doesnt bothers me that much.
i have already moved on to a state whereby im beyond judging the people i label my friends. whatever that is said "oh he talks shit about you," "oh she's sucha slut", "he's a big mouth", "she only wants your money", "i hate him/her because....", im done and over with it, i love each and everyone of you.
but the only reason why people are telling you all these, 1st it's because they want your side/support/"you can have my back" statements, we are only humans, and we need loyalty, faithfulness and understanding etc, or 2nd they are just simply brainless trying to sow discord and nothing better to do which also leads to taking sides, and judging someone. so, if you dont and still stay friends with both parties, let your life happen!
my friends are constantly reminding me to choose a side, it's like as if choosing between the person im in love with and my mother. i cant, yet i cant have the best of both worlds. isnt that ironic?
i remember once i did finally take someone's side. i literally told my friend "i am sorry if youve had treated me like a goodfriend, but she is my bestfriend, and i gotta let you go instead." i felt like i was the worst friend ever, but i know i didnt make a wrong choice. but what happens when both sides are equally important? how do you make that decision? how bout someone tell me, is that even possible? if i dont, i become a 2 faced creature. i dunno should i laugh at that or should i be upset over it.

am i actually doing myself wrong by wanting to get over the stage of not judging anyone of your friends? because everyone is flawed? or am i doing wrong if i judged and get judged in return?
whether i judged or i dont judged, i still get judged. in short, we are only humans, and all humans are judgemental. and remember we can never have the best of both worlds.

ps: okay, its not like i haven been saying that some people are rude or ugly or whatever it is. suddenly i felt like somewhere in btw is aching, and its like an understatement saying so, so tell me, which is more worth the while? and now i dont even know if i make sense, crashing. xoxo

2009-12-15T08:03:00.002+08:00

i realised i hate people catching up with me, it's like a defiance. once they do, i move on to something new.

yesternight

2009-12-15T07:19:00.004+08:00

i'm leaving on a jetplane. i learnt from my mistakes, i listened and i learnt. like ive repeated a million times before, i will not be an always available friend from now on, call me if you want, text me if you need, if you dont, you just dont.
to some people it might be a small issue, but to some others it might meant the world. all these little issues piling up is making me downright upset. and yet i shouldnt even be burying myself into all these misery when some others might be out there having fun, i cant possibly miss out being happy. if everyone's gonna judge me, and im gonna be upset with the way they did, how can i still be happy right? this is unbelievable, i just gotta movvvvvvvvvvvvvveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee OOOOOOOOOONNNNN.

ps: always remember, life's a bitch.

fabulous the amazings

2009-12-15T07:18:00.001+08:00

"So that’s how we live our lives. No matter how deep and fatal the loss, no matter how important the thing that’s stolen from us—that’s snatched right out of our hands—even if we are left completely changed, with only the outer layer of skin from before, we continue to play out our lives this way, in silence. We draw ever nearer to the end of our allotted span of time, bidding it farewell as it trails off behind. Repeating, often adroitly, the endless deeds of the everyday. Leaving behind a feeling of immeasurable emptiness."

Haruki Murakami (via loveyourchaos)"

2009-11-12T09:47:00.002+08:00

you know how much i dislike people to criticise the things that i have and then they go get it themselves? the best is to criticise the way you dress, and then dress the way you do. hate all these substance(less) people. they are so empty-headed yet trying so hard. first they try to run you down, pissed you off, next they go do the same shit. sometimes people will just say, "take it as a compliment."

lately, i have been in a "last straw" mood. dont ask me why, i even throw an ice at some stranger that was trying to make me smile. i was rude, but i was just being real. why bother to smile when youre feeling sad? maybe that's the way of life. and great, people judge and they dun even know the real reason behind everything i used to do, a bunch of fuckedup assholes. but i still refused to explain, because i dont owe anyone any explanations. and im always haunted by my past. i need to move on from all these childish things that people are bringing up. i mean its not only with the outside world, but domestic affairs too.

and i realised i dont have that much trouble hanging out with jayne and ben daryl all, in fact my life was so perfect i had to think if there's something wrong with it.

but on a lighter note, qian and i, we are on standby for wonglilin's shoot. can i tell you how fucking awesome is that!? i cant wait i seriously cant wait.

i haven been watching movie alot, missed sister's keeper, 500 days of summer, hurtlocker, cloudy's with a chance of meatballs and i have no idea what else. thanks to L4D and some thai disco, yes omg, this is so unbelievable. butbutbut, im like watching 500days of summer now. guess i shld get going.

2009-11-05T08:47:00.003+08:00

sienna fabulous in balmain.
knighttcat

awesome song to all my lovers.

i meant so much to you but it's not enough.

i really wanna go bkk for this party. i am seriously thinking about bkk everyday because of it, i hope nic can get me his hotel at the cheapest rate possible, so awesome to have a friend that has a hotel in bkk. and i dun have to fret about lodging. ahh, but lodging is so god damn cheap there what am i talking about. i need 400 bucks, tell me how to get fast cash now!

HEHEHEHEH

2009-08-26T18:37:00.000+08:00

IT'S TIME FOR A NEW CHANGE AFTER MUCH CONTEMPLATING.

COME ON LOVERS,
FOLLOW ME ON TUMBLR!
FOLLOW ME ON TUMBLR!
FOLLOW ME ON TUMBLR!
FOLLOW ME ON TUMBLR!
FOLLOW ME ON TUMBLR!

2009-08-23T23:24:00.000+08:00

i am moving away from blogger because it's kinda fucked now. so wait and see k. meanwhile i shall be patient with this.

intrigued by you and your everything.

2009-08-19T20:00:00.001+08:00

this part of me i cant refrain
from feeling a feeling i cant explain.
and in that world that's cast upon with dark grey skies
filled with sorrows and humans in disguise
comes along a man, a part of them,
who feels cold, down and pain
gave a sudden grin across the aisle,
came to me and gave his hands
and he said this "beneath all those darkness, beneath all those masks, there's always hope and there's also happiness you seek which only comes from deep within."

i am so freaking sick, and i haven been to school. i want to die, this sucks. how to go genting on friday like that. :(
i realised i have stalkers. and ive found my 16 year old picture.

i laugh at everything possible. i laugh because i think that is really unbelievable, its like not seeing what you see. its like everything out there is a hoax. it's like everyone is pretending to be cool. sometimes i dunno how to believe, yet at the end of the day, i have to believe to live. these are chances i cannot take. sometimes i find all these things exciting and it intrigues me. it's like you never know what you will get at the end of it. makes me wanna yearn for it, makes me feel like once i start i cannot stop until theres nothing to it anymore. sometimes everyone is a mystery, sometimes they arent. so how many people out there isnt what they appear to be? and how many people are what they truly are?

almost lovers always do

2009-08-15T05:10:00.000+08:00

okay, erm i think theres either something wrong with the browser, or something wrong with blogger facebook and twitter or erm something wrong with me. cos facebook is lag, twitter is lag, blogger is in a wierd layout. i seriously think its my problem. why do i always have problems with mozilla, why tell me why.

i am wierd, i am starting to have like speech disorder. tell me about it? hahahaha, i cant even pronounce words properly, and the funniest thing is, i even forgot how to spell exceed. yes, laugh all you want, because i laugh at myself ever single time i think of that. oh btw i spelled it as exit, cos thats the closest word i can get at that moment when i forgot how to spell exceed. and the best part is, my brother corrected me and i started laughing standing at zouk's smoking area looking at my dumb msg. so tell me what's happening to me? why are all these wierd things starting to happen to me? because it must have all happened for a reason. drink too much perhaps.

recent reports state that drinking alcohol causes throat cancer. doctors encourage beers more than alcohol. (i dunno why) the chances for getting throat cancer through drinking alcohol is even higher than smoking. smoking is only able to cause throat cancer after puffing for around 30 years, while drinking allows it to attack your body faster. aint it scary? non-smokers tend to die faster you see, just by drinking and having fun, it can cause cancer. how bout passive smokers? i always thought that drinking causes liver damage or maybe liver cancer, never expected it to also cause throat cancer. who knew drinking can be so deadly, and even deadlier than smoking. while some people smoke for all their life, they didnt die of lung cancer, they didnt die of smoking. they died of something else. freaking irony.

i really wanna upload photos badly. goodnight, ttys.

maybe baby, life is great.

2009-08-11T08:29:00.000+08:00

i am very irritated with blogger, again. now how am i supposed to upload photos. :(

had a long weekend, and enjoyed the weekend. and for the first time i played dota, omg. pity dextan for having to sit beside me telling me what to do, what to buy and which character to be and how to kill. lol. and i still dont get whats so fun about dota. and all 12 of us watched g.i joe together, thumbs up for that movie. was so into it that i couldnt be bothered with everyone thats around me already. surprisingly, i wasnt the latest although i was late. out of the latest, i was the earliest. everyone was busy waiting for one another to confirm, and everyone was busy waiting for me to wake up. what kind of excuse is that man. i ended up being the organizer when i thought someone else was. this is funny, imagine the first thing i woke up was that OMG, i have to alliance with all 13 people about the movie? "damn", i thought. and even though i stay the furthest, i was the earliest, but cheers to fendy for being the fastest despite the fact that i was only contacting few of them through phone, and HAH, fendy through facebook. and what annoys me the most is having people calling me up a few times to check to confirm whos going, yet cant confirm themselves about attending. sometimes it just makes me feel that its a waste of time. and i finally gave them the 50bucks worth of "dickied" boxers. now i dont have to carry it around like a fool everyday anymore. supposedly, i was so excited about heading to zouk, brodinski for rsg, but neither did i expect that movie ended at 2 plus. and i had to gave up persuading weilik&fendy to go.

had the best shortest night at zouk on fri with the cliques. i was there 2 hours before closing and what i saw was a sight. everyone was high and doing silly things, saying silly things. they were really funny, i cant contain my laughter i had to laugh and laugh and laugh. even before i reached, they had to text me stupid messages, and the moment i reached they were saying silly things to me about being the latest like i was queen and had to throw me up in the air and hug me like i was an object. i can only thank god that i wasn't injured from all that. and because for the first time i was one of those still being sober, i got to see scenes that were not to be missed, scenes that was the best i have seen in clubs(because apparently i was almost always the first to be like them. HEH). it was a blast. so now i finally truly know how it feels to see people behaving like me, oh no, a group of them behaving like me. HAHA.

just got back from the short yet tiring trip to bkk. never bought so many clothes in 4 days, i spent like i was queen. with bags and bags and bags full of clothes, i couldnt even be bothered going manicure. all i did was to have massages every single day. i wasnt even exaggerating about the many bags of clothes. i should have taken pictures of those bags, and how i just buy and buy and buy and buy and squeeze those in bags. instead of filling the bed full of clothes, we filled the floor full of clothes. awesome much? we were so busy with shopping, we missed our meals. besty was worst, she didnt even grumble, surprisingly. while i the shopaholic was busy complaining about how much my foot hurt and how hungry i was. heh. bkk's filled with bapoks all over, its overwhelming. i just cant help wondering whether is there a problem with being a guy? why do so many of them wants to be a girl so badly, that they transformed into one? it's everywhere, and the population is still growing rapidly. this is sad.

finally met up with nash&jp. they are still the same old loverboys that i know. maybe that the only change is jp's life, the kind which i have never ever thought it will be the way he will ever be. but great if he loves it. it was lovely to have met up with them.

ps: rejoice, becos i have no class today! goodnight babies.

i will always be an asshole to another asshole.

2009-08-05T14:38:00.006+08:00

because just yesterday night, i felt like i have friends that were really nice to me. like how hendrick came to pick me up because he couldnt bare to have me take cab back alone. i have never done bad things to people, other than bitching about some retarded girl and doing brainless things in a r/s. have never stolen anything, have never not return a phone to anybody, have never killed, have never exposed anything about anyone doing stupid things, have never betrayed anybody but i always get into shit. arent we all good friends?

now you see why i am always able to do things alone, like walk around foreigncountry alone, leave alone, go shopping coffee alone, because i am better off being alone. so i dont have to do anything to or for people, and people, they dont have to do anything to/for me. why do people always do things to their advantage? how do we get done and over with the things we hate to do?

and it's an irony cos, i have lots of friends, and a plenty of goodfriends too. yet this little small tiny part of my life is screwing up quite badly. it's always the case.

the right thing to do is to be an asshole to another asshole. that should be the way.

I WILL NOT GIVE UPPPPP. i must get done and over with it

nostalgic.

2009-07-30T17:21:00.002+08:00

i was looking through my old results and was doubting it cos i didnt even attended classes, so i checked back on my blog entries. back to days of 2007, omg. long indeed, 2 years, 2 long years. i kinda miss those days.

and i came across something i said which was "stop trying to get into me just because your mama doesnt give you enough bananas." AHHAHAH LOL man, totally, i dont even know where did i get that lame sentence from and why did i actually say that. hahaha. and i miss my old mdis classmates! ahhhhhhhhh. :(

always their love comes first.
i am hungy. a hungry man is a angry man.

have always love this song.

bad blood.

2009-07-29T01:41:00.006+08:00

yifan&my favourite spicypotato sticks back in taiwan, though its from japan. the one we had in taiwan was in a cupnoodle bowl kind, the myojo big bowl kind. whichever packaging, i still love it!
awesome drawings drawn by ahmunda.

our very own superstar, it took me more than 2 hours just to upload one short video, i really have no idea why it took so long. so i stopped uploading the rest. heh.
today is sucha wierd day though, but i still enjoyed the dinner with kel. it's been so long since we last hang out like this. for the past few nights, i have been like a couch potato, sitting down waiting patiently for the all time favourite hkgcrime show to start, then i will continue switching btw 255&55 for more hkg shows, then finally at 2, i will switched to mtvchina(pls dont ask me why), then let the tv play till i finally go back into my brother's room at 315am sharp. like the same old routine.

while talking to one of my friend online, i started to realise the lesser days i work, the more money i have enough for myself. the only reason is that the more i have to work, the more i have to take cab down, and its equivalent to taking my pay to pay for my cabfare. i dont have to take a cab but i still take a cab. even now that i aint working that much, i really have sufficient money to eat, movies, occasionally buy one lipgloss and even stay out late/go party or someshit. it's like working means extra money OUT and not IN. aye, school again tmr. i have roughly counted that i gotta go school for 30days+++ out of the 3 months. means, 1 month worth of class stretching out in 3 months time span. what a waste of time. goodnight! time for bed, hopefully tmr after class public enemies with huntercalvinkeithnelson allllllll. tsk, then eras dont wnat to give me my freaking teeshirt. nb.

YAWNNNNNBORINGGGGG.

some nice lovely tripppintime.

2009-07-28T05:41:00.000+08:00

great, blogger's finally alright now! man, its 5.42 am, and i am awake thinking of what to eat and what i really want to eat. tsk. went school today, late as usual. got myself into a group. as you know other than phoon all theres nobody i talk to in class. erm, actually i dont even talk much in class, but movinh on, its great and i like them, hope they like me too. but i still dread to go schooooooolllll. i totally cant wait to get over and done with it, i can bid goodbye to the fuckedupanalplace. asswipes.

crookers on fri was awesome! partying with the leftfooties was awesome too, sorry that i didnt spent that awesome time with the gang. renyou was out from his concentration camp and everyone was outside zouk wanting to go somewhere, so i left with them. and i had the wierdest kind of sushis ever ever on saturday! HAHAHA, like everyone practically eating like scavengers. we had limited amount of ingredients though, and to be honest it tasted not bad. mel even ate it with bread, we even had chillicrab, i was so tempted to eat after seeing sheryl and weida happily eating away, but i stopped myself. :) supposed to catch public enemies with the people on sun after work, but gotta wait for nelson to come out from a dreadful place. we confirm goodfriends.

okay fuck, blogger is still fucked now i cannot upload photos, fuck la. really nb one. you tell me how now, i dun even know what to do. anyhoossss, i really want to eat ribeye steak from astons and even the wagyu beef that i dunno why the hell so cheap over there. i feel like eating wasabi tei the most!!!!! and then have some xlb have some cantonese congee have some korean kimchi, i feel like eating so many things probably because i am really hungry now, i even feel like eating double fillet o fish and carl's beefchillicheesefries.

met up with my chinatownmates! fantastic, impromptu meet up because i gotta go tangs to finally get my chanel moisturizer like FINALLY THEY CALLED ME UP. shopped at isetan's supermarket, you know why? BECAUSE ITS LOADED WITH JAPANESE FOOD, i can buy down the whole place really if i have the money. got myself the favourite spicy potato sticks that yifan&me cant stop eating back in taiwan, and the other potato sticks and some mosburger milktea lovin. i spent like 8 bucks just on 3 items, when i can have a delicious and fulfilling meal over @fep chickenrice stall for less than 6. now to think of it, i really have cravings for boon tong kee chicken rice, although i know i can eat it as and when i like just as long i give my aunt a call, so my very nice uncle can bring back for me. yes, hes the chef there! from what i know back when i was really young, i dunno if hes still there though(the last time i saw him was in my secondary school days) when i was at a very young age, i already tasted my uncle's chicken rice, he can cook really awesome chicken rice, and when i was still staying with my grandma, my uncle always bring back goodywholesome chickenrice for us! but now to think of it, miss those days with free chicken rice, although i dont mind paying few bucks for it!

i wan boontongkee leh someone go eat boontongkee with me can! time for bed. i wont be late, i promise i wont be late. goodnight!

ps: so exxxxxxccccccccitedddddddd for the upcoming trip! counting down 3 days to jj bdae @central's roof and then HAHAHAHHAHA TRIPPPPING TIME!

2009-07-22T03:05:00.002+08:00

i dunno what is happening to blogger, but its annoying me as much as how it's like to see everyone telling me a different story.

like what i said previously, believe stands alone, you cant marry reality. from this point on, i am not going to believe anything in case my perception gets tainted.

2009-07-21T05:52:00.002+08:00

in every loss, in every lie, in every truth that you deny, each regret and each goodbye was a mistake too great to hide.
- Linkin Park's New Divide.

you know when we were all talking about our enemies, i start to think that i dont hate them, dislike should be the word, i dont like them and it's exciting not to like them. because hate is for the person that will make me feel nauseous, petrified, and all things negative x ugly, and all my life no matter how much this person seems slightly nicer or slightly better. i have to tell myself it's only illusion, it's not real. i have never thought someone could be this cold and only feeling things they want to feel. you would love them so much until there's probably nothing more left to love. and it slowly eats you up, forces you to be at wit's end and you will hate it so much, you hate them even more than you love them. this is the person that no matter how hard you try to think that they are nice, how hard you try to make it nicer, ugly things will start flooding your mind, naturally. to me, it is the kind of experience you have with people like this. it might be your rapist step dad, it might be your abusive step mom, it might be a fucking cunning goodfriend that always try to get in your way, or it might even be the big bully that tortures you all the time, it can be anyone that gives you the worst nightmare, the kind of nightmare you never wanted and never experienced. the closer you are, the more pain inflict, the more you start to lose trust, faith and stop believing. the worst kind of trauma ever. i know clearly hate is for this only person deep within me, and i know how tired it is to feel this way and to hate. as for who, it's only for myself to know. i hate this person from the bottom of my heart and i can only continue being the way i always be, treating this person the way i always do. i never doubted the fact that i was truly genuine until the hatred started to grow stronger and stronger.
whatever the case it, the feeling of hating someone sucks.

half blooded.

2009-07-19T05:18:00.003+08:00

had a night out with mrjennykam, billy bombers for dinner&caught half blood prince together, a good night a good night. (half blood prince's so half done and i am annoyed. btw, whats with half blood prince? so hes bad too?? i thought hes supposed to help the old man!!!)

ben's&unclekeith's office opening was niceeeeeeee. brought charline&lurvies besty along. i hope they had fun and omfg, 160bottles of tiger sponsored and there were so many leftovers(i know amanda loves those beersHAHA), caught the film "young people fucking" and thought it was quite a lame show, but lame in a funny way, and we headed down to zoukkkkkklovin.

slowly getting everything and slowly losing everything, getting everything losing everything like a fucking cycle. problems with having too many friends is that, you have too many friends. maybe i really should have some time alone, again. note to self: do not let my conscious eat me up. do not be so nice anymore. ignore, ignore, ignore. and dont ever use the word try.

i'll try. HAHA, fml man.

love, it knocks you down.

2009-07-18T05:51:00.004+08:00

utterly disappointed, we really can trust no one. i would love love to believe, i have always believe, but i dont think i should anymore. why would i? i remember exbf once told me, what ever someone says, you can choose whether you want to believe in it or not. whether or not you choose to believe, it might be real or it might not be the truth. or maybe in some part of the truth comes some lie, maybe in some part of the lie comes some truth. you wouldnt know. it applies in all kinds of situation, even normal conversation.

& right right right, i had too much to take in. slut #1, then slut #2 then whatttttt?! slut #3????!!!!! okay, i have to calm down. so is being slut a trend nowadays? i have never taken into consideration that people around me can be labelled as sluts, i thought this word is meant for people you know that are really sluts like the way media portray sluts, it's so superficial like come on i dont even believe such things do exist, yet it does. humans are so scary, they always have their masks on. this world is insane. this is disgusting, and i cant help but my impression of them, zero now. i see why sometimes some people can have such good judgement of humans. there is always a reason why someone has a problem with them, either they have problem with themselves or the other party is a problem. while we dunno at which point who is the one with the problem. we only can close on eye, and again pretend nothing happened. maybe it's humans nature, they tend to give in to lust,infatuation&affection that easily. do humans not have conscious anymore?

girls are silly creatures.

believe always stands alone, while you cannot marry reality.
i remember how many times i killed myself believing, and every single one suck.
words always have their way to get around.

and you are just as disappointing. i have nothing left to say, since 1, i have decided from then on, i shouldnt say anything anymore, i wont even bother trying to make it work. oh, trying is sucha vague&halfhearted word. so silly. so silly.

today is a bad day, i only want my cha soba later. i cant give a fuck about anything else. nownow, time for bed.

take it all away.

2009-07-17T07:09:00.008+08:00

i know i am really making my life difficult by harping on stuffs and by typing down in my blog yet i know nobody will know what i am talking about, because i dont label nor name those people i am referring to right lurvies?
but i still have to have to have to channel it out right here in my blog, despite all the mystery and all the question marks from people like her, it's the only way i can let it all out without letting anyone understand. i just like it this way on things i dont wanna disclosed, things i dont want anybody to understand at all. haha.

oh well, because i know i am making my life really difficult, but since when i haven been not making my life difficult?
like the recent shit i felt, its like i cannot help it. i keep thinking and thinking and thinking and thinking

we are more than being the bestest mates, but why cant i feel the way that we say we are?
we call ourselves names, but it no longer feels the same way as we always did.
we were so close, we talked about everything else in the world, we hanged out almost every other weekend & even random weekdays, we shopped together, we go get stuffs together, we were a pair, but now i can only feel awkwardness.
i remember how when i always cry and youre the first that i call, i remember how even i dont have my phone with me, your number will always be the first i dial on the public phone, i remember how whenever i am uncontactable, you will still be able to find me at the right time at the said location, we never missed a single time ever. i remember how our minds always think alike. (and everytime i think of those greatmindsthinkalike days when we asked how each of us know, i start to laugh to myself)i remember how i was being selfish and i couldnt keep up with it and then i let you go. i remember how i always think youre my sunshine, because days with you have always been happy.
we were so good, but now i am afraid of telling you how i felt about everything, i stopped myself from talking to you too much. this shouldnt be happening if you said we are more than just being bestestmates. each time i pulled myself back, you reminded me again, and i became worried. i feel the change i hate to face, i stopped saying things to bring my hopes higher knowing that somehow things are different now. i know i have only myself to blame for this change, and because this is not easy i couldnt forgive myself, like i have said for a thousandth times and i will not stop repeating this to myself. i feel like holding on to you and say that you have always been the greatest and i miss the old us in the very beginning when we were all happy and nothing came in between.

FML.
ps: everythings changing, and everythings not real.
thank you for making me so excited, i was really excited. HAHHAHA.

faraway long ago.

2009-07-17T05:31:00.002+08:00

maybe i will wear a white tank top and a pair of untouched leopard print jeans with a pair of trashed chucks or
maybe with a pair of untouched dr denim zebra print in pink jeans.
or maybe i dont have the guts.

TGIF!
feel like mismatching/crazy/eccentric/outofplace.

some booties/shoes lovin.

2009-07-17T04:05:00.010+08:00

T by Alexander Wang mini pocket tank
Les Chiffoniers Leather leggings
ROBERTO CAVALLI - ENAMLE AND CRYSTAL SNAKE BRACELET
MARC BY MARC JACOBS - MARC JACOBS SCRIPT CUFF BARCELET
Marvelous Ring
Kenneth Jay Lane Antique Gold & Crystal Bee Ring
Beaded Multirow Necklace
ASOS Statement Wrapped Rhinestone Snake On Wooden Band Ring
Bracelets Topshop
Balenciaga The First
PREDATOR Premium Sandal - Shoes - New In - Topshop

love my very first creation. :D

i kinda regretted not getting that pair of studded heels over @malaysia yesterday. i cannot actually believe that i sacrificed that pair of amazing heels for mani&pedi, when i can do it myself at home. ahhhh, crap. :( i am so going to get it if im going there again and that's if it's still available. :(
it looks something like this prada slingback bootie.

only filled with round gold studs all over, and brown chunkier looking heel.
after leaving my fringe boots(the one in black)in the shoe closet for about a year, i thought it's time for me to wear it again. only afraid that it's really inappropriate but then again, who cares.

i might just wear it tmr for the opening of ben's and keith's ENROUTE14C. mmm.

oh and i have a pair of lowcut boots in brown from my mom, which i havent touched it yet. though i love boots, i really dunno when to wear it seriously. like everytime i wanna wear it, i ended up wearing something else instead.
something similar.
i would love to have these though,
red wings
christian louboutins, OMG o_O
and this pair of elizabeth&james wedges. have been looking for this kinda heels/wedge for the longest time.
dr marts high/low.

or a pair of motocycle boots.
or these!
and look at these awesome shoes from ashish for topshop.
love the ones on the right.

from: nitrolicious

and these from ninewest.

and these

Fendi shoes

it's 5am, and i am not even slightly sleepy, damn.

mkA

2009-07-15T09:26:00.007+08:00

from:
olsens annonymous

all from olsens annonymous

since i am still wide awake, i shall say that i am still in love with ashley olsen more than ever.
not because of that party, okay maybe because of that i had to research, and i am more in love with her. actually i like both. hahahahaahhahahha.

and something to confess, i used to read their storybooks, like winning london, two of a kind& so little time were my favourites. HAHHAHA, i still have the books. awesome, i should take it out and read again.

more than words can explain.

2009-07-15T08:38:00.001+08:00

i have started to become conscious around you.

let the wind blow.

2009-07-15T04:42:00.015+08:00

show me where i used to be, and bring me there.

BBUPLOADS:
blogger is annoying, the way they upload and lay out your photos. shouldnt the first few pictures uploaded be on top instead of being at the bottom??

drunken night @ butter.
dingxuan, she was really drunk too, and extreme happy drunk!!!

nico's injured little toe.

win bb/iphone handsdown? NOOOOOO.
my boss.
nothing better to do.

Sheryo's artpiece for hypercolor over @loft.

though i kept hearing roy all yakking on it for veryvery long and then got annoyed,
i fell in love with battlefield 2 after playing it for the first time too.

iphone/itouch gamers?
majong @uncle's crib.

besty asked if i wanna go bkk, obviously i want to go, so i am here doing a research on the cheapest rates to go over. first i need to stop hanging out, like as of today evening.

i was browsing through my picasa and i saw the sushi that i made the other night over at mel's.

i know it looks a little chachat but its good.

and yes, this cha siew ramen is delicious. now that i am looking at it, i really feel like eating it! :(
i had it the other day with bqwek and erasmus all. awesome food man.

no matter how many times we say it's alright, it's alright, we are still the same, things still change. i was sitting on the toilet bowl, pooping and thinking that i really hate things to change. i start to think back, way before everything became the way it is now. i miss those days, i was in love with those days,(though with all the lying and hiding and finding excuses), it was all worth it, my friend made it all worth it. those days were like roller coaster rides(a total understatement) and technically, it was wrong, but i love those days. i cant say that it was the biggest mistake, to stop myself from doing all these, but it was the worst kinda regret i ever had till date, that words cannot describe. i remember how i always tell people those were the days, no matter what kinda stupid things we did, be it quarreling, asking to fuck off, tlc, heart2heart, playing&fooling around, showering that kinda retarded/special attention and whatnot, i really had fun. my mind must have been somewhere not in my head.

everything was fine, we moved on so perfectly like we didnt had those, i have no idea why i did the things i did, and then pretended nothing happend. now that it came back and gave my head a shot, everything came gushing back in, it seems so absurb. that i wish nothing had happen. but which part do i wish it didnt? the part where we had the most fun? the part we let ourselves out of it? the part where the worst decision was made? the part where we moved on fine? or the part where it came back again and it's no longer the same? which part(s) seems better eliminated?

but i know, things always happen for a reason. if it's the way it is now, i know someone up there must have a good reason for doing that. and that, only i know what. no matter how many questions i ask, it will always be questions that will never be answered. till then, i will keep myself in suspense and think about it once in a while, while pooping again. hope i wont get annoyed with myself.

as much as i miss those days, i really had fun with the old people, with the TCF. though i know i have been saying how i wont hang out with them again, i realised they are the ones who relentlessly kept me busy with problems and fun, who kept me busy wanting to kill them and tell them no you cannot do that because its embarrasing and mindless, busy with being happy and laughing and disturbing and teasing and doing stupid things altogether, busy with seeing how they always keep their ego and then letting their thoughts&feelings flow as soon as no one is around, busy being sincere though i know at some point of time "bros dont come before hoes" and it's proven. knowing that this is the group of people that have the most problems and the most complicated ones, i still and have always been attached to them, and i am starting to know them better all over again, especially with mel&hendrick. and i wish nothing nothing nothing of that sort,(the fucking big misunderstanding) will ever happen again even though i cant be sure.
sometimes love comes around, it knocks you down, just get back up when it knocks you down.

it's 8am and i heading to malaysia for lunch with besties at 12. good game, gotta go. ciaos people

ps: you know it when they dont mean it.

her morning elegance

2009-07-15T03:00:00.002+08:00

oren lavie////

i really really love this video.

hello people.

2009-07-09T17:52:00.004+08:00

i had one of the most drunken nights ever at butter. which gave me the worst worst worst morning after. i was trembling like madness, puking like madness and i culdnt even sleep well due to everything that came together. i had to puke and puke and puke and eat and puke till i i finally felt alright in the early evening. 2 nights before the exams. great. hahah
and so,
one paper down, i am rejoicing already. but then again, theres one more killer paper on monday, which is public relation. ahhhh, god bless me.

i went mambojambo only because of wanny, and i didnt even expect that i will be suffering from headaches and stomaches. half the time i was giving a fucked up face like i am going to die soon. not enjoyable. by the way, i tasted the worst mix ever with bombay OMFG, seriously what did they mix it with?

heading to renyou's farewell later, shiok ehhhh steamboat. was just talking about it to calvin all, and now i am gonna have it. whaaaaa awesomeeeeee, nevermind since next week i am only going for the laksa one instead of the traditional kind.

so i am still thinking who should i dress up as for jasmine's party on sat.
brigitte bardot? edie segwick? katy perry? sonial rykiel! HAHAHA really dunno, omg i am left with 2 days to prepare.

the legend

2009-07-09T17:16:00.003+08:00

sometimes i feel, life indeed is vulnerable, so fragile.
and then i walked everywhere, everywhere's playing his songs. from work, to a friend's ride to zouk and back home watching his memorial, and then going out somewhere around the corner someone will be playing his music again. it's everywhere.

2009-07-05T05:02:00.000+08:00

DO NOT EBEM TRY TO MSH ME, I WILL NOT AND I SAY ANGIN I WILL NOT REPLYYYYYYYYYYYYY. unless, not heres no inless.

2009-07-05T04:57:00.003+08:00

the oly thingi know is theres onyl yourseld to trust.

fuck you all really. fuck you all. fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkk. i am fucking pissed i dun even know t f if can sleep. i really dunno.

your hypocrisy blends into the air cant you see the polltionin? hen stop breathing save the human race.

FUCK YOU ALL ONE MORRE TME. i do not wis t tak about ti agiannnnnnn ever.

edited///// wished i heard more.

i turn my head to the east

2009-07-01T05:02:00.003+08:00

not a hiphop/r&b lover,,,,, justin timberlake is sexy,,,,,,, butbutbut dead and gone is even sexierrrrrrr!!!!!

i can put this song on repeat mode, listen to it over and over and over and over again. i love it so much now, i cant seem to not listen to it at least once.
oh did i tell you that, i saw my newfoundlove....... okay on a website. AJ

DROP DEAD GORGEOUSSSSSSSSSSSSS, okay i think i just mentioned it on twitter, but who cares, he is hot. ookaay enough of him.

so i went for mel's focus group earlier this evening, and as you know i have like stage fright, like even for the simplest thing i get nervous. so everything i said was BULLSHIT i know, the only thing that make sense was the example on the peta thing.

her group was doing on a pro anorexic thingy, which i think on honest opinion it all depends on the person whether or not they should go into the web at all. i wouldnt even know such web existed if mel hasnt told me to go google it. though i am not with it, i am also not against it. i think it's only normal to wanna slim down, being slim is a form of beauty, and the way media portray beautiful&attractive is so narrow minded like you have to be in this category (of slimness, being tall, katemoss, angelina jolie, mka, sasha etc)and that during the hedi slimane era, he designed clothes for men that are really skinny cut(SKINNIES etc) and only for skinny people duh! fashion week, almost everything from every label caters to the slimmer crowd, all models are slim and tall. even guys wanna slim down just to fit into hedi slimane's clothing line. so how do you not expect ppl especially girls to wanna slim down at all, when even guys wanna be slim? okay, for the exceptional of plus size ppl like tyra banks that's full of confidence and gorgeous looking.
i totally agree that mel was right about media helping you sell your image to the public. i think it's all in the media. life's fucked up, be rich and you can do whatever you want to be dropdeadgorgeous and have special treatments and have a happy life up there somewhere ordinary people dont belong to.
it's wrong only because though you wanna be skinny, you shouldnt even be falling into being a pro anorexic or even someone who is a bulimic, it takes your life away; youre actually killing yourself, which morally, you shouldnt even try. honestly speaking, i only went to one website of i dunno whether is pro anorexia or anti. all i know is that wanting to be slimmer isnt a sin, it's beauty, it's bringing yourself to a higher level. there's prolly nothing much we can do only for coming up with campaigns and educating people, build a mindset in young adolescence and that's about it. i think coming up with a anti pro doesnt really work as much, like coming up with peta to stop peopel from liking animal furs, to criticize them and throw retarded things at those that wear stuffs like that, butbutbut it doesnt work right? because once you love fur, no matter what people do to you, you will still love it. unless you suddenly think you shouldnt. so i guess the anti kinda stuffs dont really work that much.
but do not thrash the magical disney princesses, and hot celebrities, just because youre not like them.
no matter how confident you are, no matter how much you say you dont mind being the way you are,some part of you yearns to be like them, the only reason is that you resigned to fate that you just happened to not fall into their category and their way of life, you do not have a choice and got positive to think, just like how i feel about being short, i only yearn to be taller, but its okay.

ps: if i have the money to alter my body, i will DIE DIE GO STRETCH MY LEGS, OR LIKE IF THERE IS ANY way of growing taller, not only by drinking milk, basketball or whatsoever, i will prolly do it. even if i dont, i still think i am fine.

ps: sleepy suddenly, my eyes are closing, i shall cont tmr. goodciaos.

i want nobodynobody but chuuuuuu.

2009-06-28T03:56:00.002+08:00

had a crazy night at zouk yesterday, awesomessssssssssss.
had a CRAZZZZZZZEEEEEE blast at bintan(AGAIN!) last week right after zouk, breakfast then bintan. woooohoooooo.
heard i am supposed to recieve a birthday tee designed by nelson,erasmus and erm dunno who else, jayne and keith? yeah. but erasmus made a huge mistake and had to send for printing again, AND I SERIOUSLY CANT WAIT.
had a good dinner with youyou,jennykam&redranger+gf.
i cant wait for tmr's breakies with them againnnnnnnn, jenny is picking me up!! SHIOK NO NEED TAKE CAB.

oh ya, youyou's friend had an accident. i tell you, erm the ride lasted about like 5 mins only??!!!! and 1 min ago they were like dont drive so fast, then the next min. ggggggiibbbbbbaaaabbbbooooooom. i rolled my eyeballs for that second. ah, dont listen ah, dont listen want to action la. i feel sorry for the other guy's car though, clearly isnt him.

another day, gotta go bed now. ciaossssss

RIP

2009-06-26T10:21:00.002+08:00

oh, so i thought i heard he's coming back with a world tour, now i heard he's gone.
so will you miss michael jackson when he's gone?

gastric is hurting, my head is spinning, i feel like vomitting.

2009-06-24T04:57:00.005+08:00

i feel awkward seeing you
pretending nothing's ever happened
talking like one step below the way we used to
thinking about the unforgotten
of the way we are now
although i already made my piece.
because we moved on so fast, putting it behind us and then thinking its forgotten.
how do we do it the way i wont even hesitate to, the way we say it's alright?
and it seems like i couldnt even forgive myself for everything thats done even after the things i said to make it better.

and everytime i hear your name, i get anxiety attacks, puking sensations, my hands start to tremble and butterflies flying all over. it repeats itself in my head, constantly reminding me of the things i did. the kind of fear i know irrational yet i cant shake it off.
why do we always do the things we do knowing we shouldnt?

ps: you see, people judge and
we always talk about it, dont we?

gareth pugh

2009-06-19T16:24:00.001+08:00

sorry but i hvae to post this.

ps: mosey has a new name, mr jenny kam. tell me about it, seriously. that was the best name ever.

before i see you again.

2009-06-19T01:06:00.006+08:00

Balmain fall/winter09

Stella Mccartney

and because fall/winter is not really very appropriate here(really wish there's 4 season here! damn), i youtubed the springsummer when i woke like at 6am! and these are the many awesome ones.

spring/summer 09

alexander mcqueen

alexander wang

karl lagerfeld

jill sander

chloe

Balmain <3

Stella Mccartney <3

sonia rykiel

&mmm(saying hes awesome is a fucking understatement,really!, watch!)

i shall end it with undercover fallwinter08/09

if you can have one designer to dress you up for the rest of your life? which designer will it be? i haven make up my mind yet, like maybe if it's possible to incorporate stella mccartney and balmain into one, then i will be the happiest girl ever. hhahaha.
skinnies,backless,tube dresses,strong&bold jackets,tailored pants&shirts, corset&tutus with awesome heels, whats not to like from them???!!!!

so there's so many things for me to get busy with later on, packing some stuffs for tmr bintan trip again(!), prepare for school at 330, sushi(!!!!!) with kaygin&danny and then gym(i really hope so) and then back home to grab my stuffs and then see where am i heading to later in the night to meet up with the rest. till then, i gotta go sleep again, now its 9! so i will see you on monday again. :D

2009-06-18T06:12:00.003+08:00

OMFG, so what did i missed out this time round??!! how issit possible for 3 different people, or should i say, why do people add each other on facebook knowing that they dont even like each other??????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! wtf seriously, this is crossing my line NOW. so who's trying to play mr/miss nice guy here?!!!!! so pretentious. fucking cannot stand it. FUCKKKKKKKKKKK.

monster

2009-06-17T07:08:00.004+08:00

i hate working full time, hate having to go school everyday, hate doing the same thing over and over and over again, hate not having freedom = hate commitments, commitments are freaky&scary.

a new sapphire, might be a new love

2009-06-16T21:21:00.007+08:00

with twitter, blogging made easy. (:
with twitter, i got lazier and lazier to blog.
with twitter, every minute i feel like tweeeeeettttting.

once told my friend, "you see people move on fast, even if you dont change, everything else changes." but now, i am just behaving like him. what the fuck right, okay so
we had a blast during melodie's birthday bash/uniform party.
been busy slacking in the east and still slacking in the east.

when we came back from kl few weeks back, we headed to cinda's place to sing k, and mind you, they sang the entire night till sunrise like maybe after dinner til 7am, thank god i went after 11 and slept at bout 5am? amazing how we can sing for so many hours, or not, its only charline, she was there early and she never stopped singing.

and i cant stop eating japanese food and korean food and japanese food and korean food, erm i think most of my meals are either or. freaking love japanese food. okay come take a look at this, joy division bbc documentary.

awesome leh eunice.

2009-06-10T05:08:00.001+08:00

i think eunice ah, kai xin sounds nicer than happy. but hahahah, my 2 cents worth. :D

money makes the world goes round

2009-06-10T03:40:00.003+08:00

i'm on twitter, so should you!
now go!
tweeeeetttt,tweett,tweet.

oh well, done with that korean show i swear i can watch a million times like meteor garden.
:D i really feel like buying everything i saw today, i feel like going facial again, i feel like going for a pedicure. damn, i really need a lot of money. i was just talking to my dad telling him i am really a poor kid that has really rich friends. i must have been a really rich fuckedup kid then.

on a happier note, i got a new bysi top which i loveeeeeeeeee it. oh i forgot, i am supposed to save up for the trip to japan end of the year. yeah, tell me about it.

10k is not even enough for me to get all the things that i want, and that even include a chanel bag + balenciaga bag = 5 k already. left another 5 k to buy nitendo ds lite, buy the reebok shoe, buy nudie, buy myself a japan trip & euro trip. see, told you not enough already.

if i ever have a 10k, i wouldnt even think of buying chanel bag, i will probably buy myself a balenciaga and another wallet and my nintendo, buy reebok shoe, buy nudie and myself a japan trip. i know balenciaga is more practical than a chanel, and euro trip needs more than 10k, my dad spent more than that on our previous trip which i didnt even buy anything cos i was only 11? 12? how bout i am 20 now, how much will i need?! fucking hell, i am a broke and poor girl. i dunno why am i grumbling when i already spent so much. okay, save hazel, save. i should save.

i have a new piggy bank, from the hello kitty hamper. wahahaahahah, even they know i have to save money. damnnnnnnnn. uploads from my bb.

so i finally opened it, actually my mom did, and as she opened she asked share la, give mommy some. why your friend all buy you food?! eh oh, she got you coin box leh, then you can save money. zzzzzz.

my mom she was damn cute, cos she wanted to cook porridge for me for my lunch tmr, so we went to buy ingredients, and i was like i dont want meat only want fish balls. she okokokokokok, until we reached home she said "sorry, forgot no more rice at home." she totally forgot to buy rice! and she wanted to cook only because i am having a bad shitting water + vomitting water experience and that i refused to go to the doctors. HAHAHA, only because i was lazy. i was so irritated with it i dont even bother going out, only to jurong point for my dinner. thats about it.

and my bestfriend is annoying me because she came back and then after awhile she got a job for the sake of it, and worst its a full time internship and works 1-10 everyday except saturday. who the hell works at such timing? when right from the start, she told me oh she looking for a part time job only. wtf. seriously, pissing me off. everytime i think of it i get annoyed.

2009-06-05T17:37:00.000+08:00

STOP DOING THINGS WITH INTENTION.

2009-06-05T04:55:00.001+08:00

read this.
days with my father.
filled with love.

love from all over.

2009-06-03T18:25:00.003+08:00

my 20th birthday, i had many surprises.
my 20th birthday with love from all over.

and of cos, this is what i meant, love from all over.
every item was specially chosen by urica and from shops all over the place, and the cute little letters from them,
with surprises from besty&everyone else that was present, with hello kitty, with the love of junkfoods&alcohol, and of cos not forgetting, my blackberry!
dont even feel like opening my hamper now......

although i am really so freaking touched by urica&yuan&gege earlier on, i got so pissed off with my phone, i am a mac user, so naturally i am clueless about downloading applications to my phone. everything i downloaded is in .jad and i cant open it with mac, and on top of that i cant even sync using pocketmac for bb it cant seem to register my phone, so now someone help! i need a dummy for the mac x bb user book now! :( i cant wait to tell you guys how awesome is my phone, and now i have to freaking wait.

ps: the wind is howling outside, omfg. it's so scary but i am still feeling very warm inside my room, i think it's my laptop giving out heat.

psssss: OH AND MY UNDERCOVER x HELLO KITTY STICKER FROM THEM. HAHAHAHAHAH, FUCKING EXCITEDXxXXXXxxxxxXXXX

my freaking essays done!

2009-06-01T20:34:00.013+08:00

all my 7 pages of essays x 3 sets. in 3 different modules. i cant believe i actually rushed 2 essays in a day. i felt the sense of achievement man seriously. and the other one was already done previously. HAHAHAH.

pantone's work.
and look at the first few pictures, the amazing chairs that were designed by him in the early 7os.
works by christian lacroix.
awesome isnt it?

and all these are favourites.

cinderella
cinderella and her 2 stepsisters.
and more costumes
the end of the exhibitions, all collage together because what!
i will kill myself if i have to upload all 120plus of them.

i almost paid for a phone i didnt want, and singtel only have the older version. damn, why am i always so unlucky. i am so going to go starhub tmr after school.

and after all the rushing of assignments, finally thought i can rest but not! i think i am too nice, now i have to rush another. i think i am a real angel. HAHA, i cannot stand myself sometimes for being too nice for myself. this is really ridiculous, or should i say, too good to be true. yeah, i know i selectively treats people nice, but that is also my freedom of choice? we should always be selfish. and i am not keeping up with the things that i said all the time. oh well, and now i am finally done with the assignments, YES!! i am done done done!

eh tell me why sial la, why why why am i always like that! oh btw, the weather is still killing me, even with the strongest fan blowing right straight towards my face, i still feel so freaking warm. i hate feeling warm.

and i will end it with the above. so happy, i can watch again and again and again and again and again. isn't that happy? okay, i am going to bed. goodnye, ciaos.

2009-06-01T01:28:00.002+08:00

IMPULSE.
OUT OF ANGER.

2009-05-30T15:14:00.001+08:00

lost yourself? pathetic totally.

still as retarded.

2009-05-30T04:29:00.003+08:00

i miss days in secondary school, i wish i could turn back time. sitting in class having lessons.

the weather is so fucking hot, it's ruining my room's aircon. now i felt like even 18 degrees cant make me freeze with my blanky on anymore. it's making me perspire instead. damn it, why cant the weather be like how it used to be?

i am crazy, i am a bitch, i am so fucking temperamental, i am a fucking happy pill, i laugh, i smile, i drink and get drunk, i scream and yell, i am at my best for the wrong kind of reasons, i gave my patience to people who doesnt deserve, i love and i hate and there's one thing i have yet to learn, to live and let live.
hate to love, hate to be attached to humans, hate people being sticky, hate being sticky, hate all the niceness. dont ask me questions already, too lazy to reply.

birthday was awesome! i am 20!
above&beyond awesomenessssss.
wishes from really all the unexpecteds.
best gave me a surprise at balcony with everyone i love around.(just when i was so determined not to celebrate, and head home for bed!)
calvin&gang gave me moet.
keith gave me food.
jayne gave me beveldere.
mel gave me a heavy bag of beers and junkies.
ali gave me chanelmascara!(just when i needed it) and all time love, hellokitty stuffs.
collage crews prepared like a huge hamper for me.
and yes, something from jasmine too.
and all of them gave me love.
so thanks.

i am 20, i looked back i saw how much i have changed, or should i say not that i have changed, i am the same old only with the way i behave. and i miss how the way i am when i was younger, getting scolded and not scolding people, and of all, knowing how to live and let live. and for some kind of reason, i became so angsty.

ps: do not have to say. like i have always said, i told you so.

HAIL ALMIGHTY, i am queeeennnnnn today!

2009-05-27T03:26:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MYSELFFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!!!!!!! 

2009-05-23T04:42:00.002+08:00

i am so pissed off with the people that makes me feel like they always patronised me, the things they say, the things they do. i hate it to know the fact is that they have always been like this, yet i still choose to live with it. and i know one reason that they are friends with me it's because i am nice. period. and only with these people, i question my existence. am i someone that really is of good use and that's why we are friends? or am i wrong? i thought we were really friends. so how true is that, how right am i? maybe i was wrong right from the beginning.

hiding in a tinyyyyyyyyyy man-made space.

2009-05-13T03:50:00.002+08:00

humans always say things to patronise you just to make you feel happier. maybe humans just aren't that truthful nowadays. and they think it's really normal to do that. like it's no biggie. then dont say it when you dont mean it right. it's like i know, i know how this all works, but stilllllllll............

maybe i almost burst out crying, but on a happier note, i am finally travelling with the dearests dearests tmr!

so i am going to miss dvd night, miss one movie session and miss ready set glo anniversary this saturday with the group. but nevermind, i am so going to have funnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!!!!!!

ps: always knew i cant make it through. this is hilarious cos i tried to push my way through for years. HAHAHHAHAHA.
ps: so a girl starts bitching about a guy.
if it's not true. she's just being a girl. cos most girls love to bitch.
and if it's the truth about the guy. he's just being a guy. cos most guys are jerks.
bottomline about humans? boys will always be boys. girls will always be girls. the line is just so damn fucking clear. when they say, bros before hoes. they mean it. only dont expect too much.

goodbye, goodnye, time for bed.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, time flies.

2009-05-12T04:13:00.003+08:00

so i really dunno what to do on my birthday. thought of just chilling at besty's like last year. like ordering pizza, macdonals happy meals or eating abc and then swimming and then chilling and running around. but her aunt is backkkkkk. okay other than clubbing man. clubbing drinking getting wasted and then goodnight go back home prepare for hangover the next day, oh no. gotta make sure i am not stuck at home or doing the same things i do every other day. ahhhhh, whats new when you have celebrated for the past 19 years. imagine when i am 30. goodness gracious. even though afterall its only a birthday and a yearly affair, and even though i know of people that doesnt, i still love birthdays, especially mine. never ever could have imagine not eating strawberryshortcakesssssssss hahahahhahah, i had like 3 last year. apart from the fact that one was a icecreamcake. still love birthdaysssssssss.

i really think i want to eat abc for birthday. hahaha.

2009-05-09T05:56:00.003+08:00

finally got it clear like i am not making any stories, not in any imaginary world, thinks that i feel sane now for thinking the way i thought about everything, and still continuing to believe in myself. i am my best judgement. when now i finally know the truth. damn you. damn you. damn you. have fun decieving people. stupid pathetic assholeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. i finally let myself go, i finally feel fucking happy. damn it. i almost thought i was crazy. damn.

OH YEAH, IT'S RAINING.

2009-05-06T02:28:00.003+08:00

love the rain, after all that fucking humid fucking dry weather. HATE THE SUNNNNNN. like eating up my skin and makes me feel like my skin is melting and burning. grossss. now it's raining, and i still feel hot in an airconditioned room. which is really bad. but better than nothing.

this is the day i feel i want it all back. but this might be the only day that i feel like i am wanting it all back. oh, i am probably talking myself out of feeling this way, i know exactly how it feels if i dont stop. you know, it really

sucksballs.

the sound and the fury

2009-05-04T01:41:00.007+08:00

i saw leftfoot's display of reebok freestyle earlier today and got so excited, that i called up tiong to ask if they are gonna bring in the particular tokyo edition i wanted, but to my dismay, they dont. damn, why do bad things like that always happen. but on a brighter note, it's a good thing they dont. so if i ever buy it, the possibilty of people having the same shoe as me is lower. how great. look how gorgeous! i am so going to put my hands on them, maybe soon.

well, i was having a really great time with the usual, only talking about something more indepth about arts and the design industries, which really got me thinking again about making the right decisions. as i listened, my passion for it grew stronger. it's like on my mind i kept thinking of getting a freaking sewing machine, and the first piece ever is gonna be a skirt and then a backless dress. dont ask me why.

i knew i cant let personal affairs get into my way of pursuing my ambition. i am nobody and i want to be somebody. and when the time has come for me, some sacrifices have to be made, in pursue of something even bigger. it's like you cant have the best of both worlds.

gonna be like jun takahashi one day. hahahahhahaha. or maybe just like how jeff staple did it, by giving out his teeshirts and suddenly recieved a call in the middle of the night asking for 10 thousand pieces. HAHAHHAAHHA. i dunno?

do you know how much i idolize him? not a fan club but yet enough to know.
if somebody were to ask me who's my fav designer, the first to come out from my mouth will have to be jun takahashi. not a legend like karl lagerfeld rick owens or sonial rykiel but i still likeeeeeeeeeeeeeee him. like the fact in that cuteness of the design comes some bizarre and eccentricity. think faceless creatures like cute faceless hello kitty. and black houses with white and black roses and the kind of feeling you get when watching the adam's family? it's like he's designs always incorporate 2 ideas into one. like maybe aliens in secret garden.it's only an example though. hahaha. and reminding me of maison margiela yet a softer side? i dunno. cos mmm's design omg jaw dropping. jun takashi can probably tell you exactly how it feels like to have the sweetest nightmare ever. yes, oxymoronic kind of designs. think darkside. and i am only talking about the tee shirt series. if plus the runway? i will go on and on and on.

would love to own this globetrotter x uc hello kitty travel case.

they say things they dont mean, they say it still.

2009-05-03T13:34:00.002+08:00

horsemen

"why do people do what they do?"

horsemen is a freaking freaky and a sick show.

"i am sorry. when... i didnt know this(foetus) was inside her"

2009-05-01T05:12:00.003+08:00

eunice is probably just like any of us, having our own kind of friends that do similar things. like i have mine, those that party and go crazy and talk about things we always talk about. unlike having a friendship with the rest of you girls. we are nothing the same. right? we were never like birds of the same feathers that flock together. we do different things, and have different goals in life, and we live separately to achieve our dreams.

now we are all the same, judging. judging at the one we love. our perceptions get clouded at times like this. shouldnt we be showing our support instead of throwing her away just like this? we can do so much better. but i wont take back that email i wrote though, cos i still feel what i feel. actually to be honest, i dont really bother not that i dont love her as a friend. this is just a life cycle.something that we cant help at all. something must have happened.

you should feel what i feel, you should take what i take, you should feel what i feel.

ps: officially left laneoflove. i am so gonna miss working with d already! seriously missed it.

the rest of the 5, the rest of us.

2009-04-30T03:00:00.003+08:00

i wanted to post pictures, but i heard something. and i want to say:

people really come and go.
forever might just be a figure of speech to make someone feel better.

ps: 6 is good, 6 is awesome, 6 is an even number. so we will have one another, and never get left out.

THIS IS FOR EUNICE YEE.

2009-04-30T02:25:00.002+08:00

HOW MANY FUCKING TIMES MUST I SAY HUMANS DONT CHANGE?

eunice yee,

this is just so you, done with it and move on. youre so fucking disappointing. after all these years of true blue friendship you just had to. you just had to come up with reasons like you change and youre not comfortable with us anymore. just because you change. you think what some kind of r/s with us ah? this is friendship we are talking about, not bgr you know. what change, then say leave then leave. knew it right from the start, knew it. every man for themselves. we trusted you so much, i trusted you so fucking huge load, but you just had to. i appreciate the fact that you lay down everything on the table, got fucking truthful and straight to the point. i want to say something, yet i cant because now i see how i dont have the rights anymore. and to tell you the truth, this is not any speech to make you stay, because i wont do anything to stop you from leaving. and only because the saddess part is that i cant stop you from leaving at all.

the world dont revolves around just you, only because you think youve changed everyone else have to, if not youre gone.
remember that,
humans dont change. humans they dont change. nothing much changed in humans, what changes is everything else. if you think the rest of the world makes better friends then us, then just do whatever you want in life. the most important thing is you like what youre doing, and i bet you are.
apparently to me, nothing really matters that much, since everything you said, you said it because you feel honesty is the best policy. but because all i see is excuses to get away with it, whether honest or not, it's doesnt matter anymore the day you decided to say it all. i hope you realised how much hurt you cause for the rest of the girls. nothing much left to say. so bye.

2009-04-28T02:36:00.004+08:00

oh before i blog again, pls vote for my friend's work @ dopeshop . Their designs for the dj slipmats. pls click on the stars to vote. dont click on 1 stars plssssss. like click on 10 stars. hahahahahha.

keith lim, snatchthieves, manda ang, ben qwek, roy and sheryo. you can only vote once for all of them. so pls dont be like me, clumsy and accidentally clicked on dunno how many stars. hahahaha.
clicking on 1, 2 or 3 or 4 stars is like a sabotage. so, hahahahha.